a story-obsessed epistemophiliac

all I want is to know

mm; don't think so
Meredith gladdecease
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ncis 9.04
I have Thoughts about a Show, the fandom for which I'm not terribly involved in. It's too long for twitter, and I'd feel weird posting randomly on tumblr, so...

Hadn't intending on liveblogging, so I'm starting this post about ten minutes in. To summarize earlier thoughts:

I'm not an expert, but I know mitochondrial DNA is only contributed by the ovum, as the sperm has no real organelles to speak of, meaning that this DNA comes solely from your mother. This guy Abby's so sure is a sibling could easily be a half-sibling from her mother, or possibly a cousin on her mother's side, if her mother has a sister. Again, I'm not an expert, so I don't know that you'd get a 99.9% match between the children of two sisters, who should have their mother's mitochondrial DNA - they might be slightly different based on some error in cell replication or something. (Also, not being an expert on NCIS, I don't know if it's established that Abby has any aunts or uncles.)

It seems ridiculously obvious to me why Lt Commander Whatshisname is being targeted - that bill he's advising on is obviously sensitive, and somebody doesn't want him giving advice about it. For a minute I wondered why the team didn't realize this, then remembered that they lack my awareness of the narrative. It would make it so much easier for them if they did, though. "This guy told us about this very important bill he's advising politicians on this week, and a hit was put out on him this week - clearly the hit is related to the bill!" All apparent coincidences could be taken as leads.

...I think there might be a Discworld novel or two that takes advantage of that knowledge. What do they call it, the Theory of Narrative Causality? /googles Eh, not quite. That's more things happen because the story says they should, not you can skip ahead in the plot if you're aware that you're in the story. Shame, that'd be interesting.

Okay, caught up with my thoughts, onto the rest of the episode.

"'While angling for his plum assignment on the hill', who talks like that?" Well, Tim is a novelist, Tony. If anyone on the team would talk like that, I'd think he would.

Oh god, "someone who looks like you," I'm kind of glad this guy's totally gonna die. Because she's pretty, it's surprising she works in law enforcement? God, I hate characters/people who think like this, your physical features do not control your interests or your career. (Unless your career is based on physical features, I guess. But those are a minority, it's not like there's enough modelling jobs for every pretty woman in the world, and that discounts people who are pretty but would find modelling dull, or take awkward photographs, or are allergic to silk or something idk.)

...I agree with the detective: Tony, what are you doing?

...ooh. Finding a secret room. Cool.

Okay, Abby's got an aunt, but she's a little on the absent-minded side. /shrugs Cousin could still be a possibility, though (half-)brother's more likely on a narrative level.

Talks to/about his kid for a full conversation - yeah, this guy's gonna die. Or at least get maimed.

Aha, I was waiting for the landlady to flirt with Gibbs. Between Tony's commentary and her catcally reply, I think she's one of my favorite flirts yet.

...huh. That's different. I'm gonna guess: nice guy's a cover, he's secretly the Navy equivalent of a dirty cop.

Betting that the "business manager" is the actual guy working as his own manager. It's a good disguise.

Tony, you say the dumbest things sometimes. Yes, unisex names exist. Also: girls with traditionally feminine names! No need to be so surprised.

Aw, Tim's face when Tony starts talking. He wanted to go first!

Hee, that ring finger motion. Tony, you so silly. And by silly, of course we mean highly inappropriate when on a case. Tim's face agrees with me.

Okay, flirting back with Tony... whatever scheme's going on, I figure she's in on it. In this show, all the potential romantic interests are (a) major members of the cast, (b) mid-to-long-term guest stars, or (c) implicated in this episode's crime.

Tim rolls his eyes and sighs at all this flirting going on.

...seriously, Commander? You left Ziva behind so you could go on a date? God, you are just asking to be assassinated.

Aw, Abby. :c This is really messing with your head, huh.

Okay, my bet now is that she's using this guy's funds to hire hitmen for her own purposes. Hindbrain likes the idea that the guy might be dead, and she's prolonging his existence through tax records, but idk how likely that is.

Boys, stop this fight for dominance. >:| Though I did like that stare-down that I mistook for Tony being oddly mesmerized by Tim. And Gibbs walking into the room just as the call goes through really does make the scene.

...oh, is she dead now? I wasn't expecting that.

My guess: once they mentioned that client (who I still think she was stealing from), she was sure she'd been found out, killed herself rather than go to jail. Alternately: someone else killed her, made it look like a suicide.

Oh, there we go! Thank you, Ducky.

"How can you tell [the hanging's been staged]?" Do you not listen to your ME, detective? Different angles, markings, shape of bruises and rope burns, for one. For another, there's always possible evidence present that she'd been killed prior to being hung. I learned this from watching crime dramas, shouldn't you have been taught? At least some of this?

Oh! killed prior to being hung. Called it. (Though I could do without the psychological profiling of suicide by gender; true or not, I always find it a bit skeevy. Same for profiling murder by gender in a way that isn't based off pure biology (such as "this person was choked one-handed" eliminating small-handed people, which covers most women and children.)

Yay, Tim's buying into my conspiracy. Sort of.

Aw, handwriting analysis, boo. Couldn't it just be two different hands? People write differently with each hand.

...Tony, please stop your victory dance and song routine. It's scaring me a little.

"Can't you just tell us like a normal human being?" THANK YOU, TIM.

...oh, I don't like that side glance. Like they need to censor their conversation with Ziva there. Baaad sign.

oh snap

Why didn't I think of that? Answer: because nobody thinks "clearly the guy financed the hit on his own life!"

...Tony. Explain your thought process before laughing about how obvious it is.

Oh wow, a Hitchcock reference? You are slipping, Tony. A season or four ago that would've been your instant reaction to the name, played off as a joke until we realized later it was true.

Ugh, Lt Commander Guiltyface is bothered by Ziva apparently being attached? After his flirt-flirt-ohwaitI'vegottagoseeawomanwithoutyou? I mean, I figure he was lying about who/why he was going to see, but still. You've got no right to be all "Boyfriend. :/ *disappointedface*"

Aw, Gibbs. Why do I only like you when you're being the awesomest surrogate father ever for Abby?

Ooooh, he was being paid to influence the vote! Nice, I should've expected that. Knew the vote was involved somehow, though I figured motive for assassination rather than source of funds.

...poor Special Agent Savoy. You asked the wrong agent to put in a good word for you.

Pet store owner? Cuute. I bet Abby likes him. Or, well, I hope she does. She deserves happy stories.

Hellooo startling physical similarity. Did they get her actual brother for the role or something? Because if not, that's spooky.

Aw, she's so cute! Avoiding the elephant in the room that only she can see, being super awkward/nervous. You can practically hear her thinking: what am I doing, he looks just like me, what do I say, how can I tell him the truth when I barely know him, I want to know him.

HA, Lt Commander Guiltyguilt's finally getting what he deserves: a Team Gibbs interrogation! My hope's for Gibbs taking lead, this guy deserves the worst.

Ooh, Gibbs-McGee tagteam. Me gusta.

And hey! I was sort of right - she was using the money in the account to hire hitmen for her own purposes. Her own purposes just happened to be wanting all the money for herself.

Eurgh. Gratuitous special needs daughter reference gains you no sympathy points in the face of kickbacks, Lt Commander. Or murder.

...Gibbs, your reading glasses make you look surprisingly precious.

Oh. Oooh. I hadn't thought of that. That's certainly one angle you could take on this story - that Kyle wasn't the one given away, Abby was. (Though again, I reiterate, mitochondrial DNA is from the mother only. You need not have both parents the same. Abby would know this - show, your lack of biological knowledge is showing.) And oh, that hurts. Spending most of the episode staring at her mother's locket, and we figure she's trying to imagine another child from this person's body, when in fact she's coming to the realization that her mother was too nice to give up a child, but was definitely nice enough to take one in. And staring at a way to test for proof. (Though. Don't you need a skin tag on the strand of hair to test for DNA? If so, I doubt a snippet like that was yanked out at the root, so it would hardly work here. Oh well. /ignores facts for story purposes)

Oh, Abby, Abby. Sweetheart. Learning you were adopted doesn't erase your identity as you know it. Or, at least, it doesn't have to. You are who you make of yourself. You can expand on your self-identity, if you want, by learning about your biological parents, but they aren't the ones who raised you, who wanted you, who chose you. Those parents are your real ones.

...and thank you, Gibbs, for saying that so much more succinctly than I could.

And once again, awesome dad to Abby!Gibbs is my favorite kind.

It's an important sentiment for a show like this, with a chosen family forming the main cast. Family's more than blood DNA.
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